Just really want to share my story because no one other then me and my WS know the full extent of everything and it’s eating me up.
I come from a conservative community and while I know i will have everyones support in this situation, i haven’t told anyone exactly what i know of the affair because it makes me sick to my stomach and i know how shocking it will be to people in my community. I just cant bring myself to talk about it even though i wish someone knew. Im sure one day i will share my story.
I was married for 8 years and its been 6 weeks since finding out about my husband’s 6 month his affair with a colleague. We have a daughter who is almost 4.
He lied to the other person and told them he was engaged and having issues in his relationship and it was ending. He took her interstate and slept with her. He told me he was going to watch a sports match. During this trip he called me and said he missed me and our daughter. He asked me to pick him up from the airport and got into my car and acted like everything was fine. How can someone do that?
As their affair progressed he told the other person that he was living at his mums and we were separating. This was not true. We were very much together and even had sex. He met the other womens mum and apparently told her there was no feelings for me and we were over. At home he was acting like everything was fine and even made plans for the future.
When i found out, he was trying to cover up the full extent of the affair. He said it was just emotional but I knew something more was there. I took her number from his phone without him realising and called her. She told me they had sex countless times and even sent me the screenshots. He admitted himself that he slept with her 7 times. Some of those times was after work. When i would call him to ask where he was, he would say with friends. It makes me sick that someone can do that to their family on multiple occasions.
When everything came out about the affair, he told me the most messed up things. He said after a while he started to get sick of her, but he kept her around because he liked the validation. He told me that during sex, he felt like he could disrespect her and it didnt matter. He said he felt like he could try things out he saw in porn when he was younger, but didnt feel like he could disrespect me like that. Ill take that as the only compliment in this situation.
I saw that he emailed her soon after i found out and said im he used her and wanted to work on his marriage.
For 4 weeks he was remorseful but then i saw a shift. He started blaming me for failing in our marriage when i know he was the biggest failure in it.
I feel so physically sick that this was the person i was married to, that i have a child with. I feel affraid of them. I am so confused about how i was married to him and that he is capable of treating people like this.
