I tried OLD a few times, both paid platforms and FB. There is plenty of research out there to indicate that one's experience with OLD is gender specific (platforms release their metadata for studies). Add to that the filters, and typical average people have difficulty getting "likes". Since I am older and shorter (under 5'10"), I got very few likes. Even though I did go on a number of dates with some very nice people, I just couldn't feel a connection. The whole process seemed inorganic.
I've watched people swiping at times, in coffee shops, etc. Some carpet bomb therapy, hoping that volume yields results, but I was always selective. I read the bio, looked at the photos, and wondered if I could see anything that suggested I could have this person in my life.
I think the biggest difficulty was the pool size. Living in a smaller area, there were just not that many people who participated. Thats when the filters really added to the challenge. Add to that, often these regulars disappeared and reappeared at regular intervals suggesting that they had found someone, only to have things not work out, or conversely, that they found themselves frustrated and tapped out, only to return.
There is an inherent conflict of interest in the OLD business model,as it designed to lose customers. Its whole raison d'etre is to find you a partner so you can quite. That seems like a bad investment on their part. More likely, they give you just enough hope to keep you subscribing and then upsell you with the occasional feature to increase your profile exposure, leveraging hope and FOMO against you. There has even been some suggestions that OLD platforms create fake accounts to keep people hooked, though I don't know if that's true (I suspect it is).
What my OLD experience has left me with is the realization that it had a net negative effect on me. It caused me stress as I constantly logged on, hoping for a like, only to be disappointed, it lowered myself esteem, and it added to my overall depression. It felt like a gambling addiction in many was, and i was spiraling.
My ultimate decision was to pull the plug...perminantly and come to terms with the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life. This seems to be the right choice for me as I feel contentment and peace. I'm not doing this in hopes of meeting someone, but rather for me. Im not super social, so it's not likely I'll meet someone organically, and I've hit a stage where I'd actually rather not. I like my own company too much.
Social psychologists have done much research into human courtship and the conclusion, at least how I see it, is that we are organic, social creatures who need to interact physically. We tend to think in terms of 400-600 people, village sized communities. This is tge exact opposite of OLD, which tricks your brain into thinking itvhas infinite options when in fact, it has reduced them. So my suggestion, like other posters, is to get out and dobthings you like within you own community. You may meet someone, and if not, you are still doing things you like.
